Good News and the Concept of “Home”

Jon got a job! The place he’d interviewed with called and offered him the position, and he starts in about a week and a half. Insert huge sigh of relief and happiness here. Besides knowing we’ll be able to pay the bills, having a solid plan and knowing that I can start planning for things feels good. I feel like I’ve been putting life on hold, and now I can let go and just “be” for awhile.

What’s interesting about the situation is that several months ago, we wanted to get out of this area. We wanted to live in a different state or at least a different city. We were disillusioned with MHK and had started feeling detached. We even told people we had no intentions of staying. I don’t know if it ever came across as insulting (in hindsight, it probably did). I didn’t mean for it to be. But I’d never embraced this town. I didn’t like it when I first moved here, and I often forgot about the good things because I was so annoyed by the not-so-good things.

Which is why it was kind of strange when Jon and I started talking about how much we’d miss the area. We started thinking that staying here wouldn’t be bad at all. Eventually, we realized we didn’t want to leave at all. There were pros to leaving: a new place, a new adventure, possibly a cheaper venture depending on where we ended up. But something big had shifted for us. We wanted to stay here…not just in Kansas, but in Manhattan (which is misleading, since we live in Wamego, but I’m referring to the area in general).

I’ve never called Kansas “home” because it felt like a pit stop on the road to somewhere else. Maybe it still is. Maybe in a few years, we’ll end up making the big move we expected this time. At this moment, though, I get to plant my feet in Kansas. I can plan and commit to things. I can hike the Flint Hills and find all the area geocaches and continue supporting the local museums, arts, and zoo. I can finally relax and let myself love the area and let some roots settle in. They may or may not grow deep, but they can take hold for a little while and flourish.

While I’ve managed to make this post all about me, I am truly proud of Jon and nervous for him since I know starting a new job can be kind of terrifying. Staying in the area also means we don’t have to make a huge move, but we are going to make a small one. We’ll be looking for an apartment in Manhattan and moving back there probably sometime this summer. We know exactly where we want to live and it looks like we’ll meet all the requirements, so fingers crossed we’re not missing something and our application gets accepted.

The excitement came on the tail of a little bit of sadness, as one of my good friends moved on to her own new adventure today. The good part is she’ll still be a co-worker, and now I can plan to visit her and my other friends who have moved away in the last few years.

One last note before I go to bed, related to the rest of the post because it involves being able to actually plan for something again: I got tickets to see Tori Amos in August!

On that note, I need sleep.

A.

 

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