I don’t interact with a lot of my readers directly (though I do answer comments if you leave them and I see them and they’re not spam), but I know I have a lot of friends and family who read this, so I wanted to give an update on the current state of myself and this blog (especially since I’ve missed a couple weeks).
I’m currently dealing with a bout of depression. I think of depression has an acquaintance who likes to show up, make everything gray and red for awhile, and then leaves whenever she feels like it. Sometimes she only stays for a couple hours. Right now, she’s going on about a month long vacation in my head space.
I’ve learned over time that if I try to force her out, she just gets stronger. Therefore, I work around her and try to ignore her pain in the ass presence in my world. But one thing I’ve learned is that when she settles in, even the simplest things are overwhelming. And when life gets overwhelming for me, I tend to shut down and do nothing. I have little tricks to kind of get through this, but it doesn’t always work.
I told a friend a day or so ago that I was behind on life, and it feels like the truth. So I’ve had to prioritize and try to pick out one or two obligations that I really need to focus on right now (when I’m in good mental health, I can handle 4 or 5 with no problem). This time, I’m choosing work and health.
- Work – It goes without saying that I spend a lot of time at work. But right now, even more time is needed. Not only that, but I need to turn my attention to being effective, efficient, and a team player.
- Health – My workout schedule has taken a hit over the past two weeks, and I want to focus on getting back into a routine and getting my strength and cardio back up. I also have to put some focus on physical therapy for an arthritic knee. I know that when I’m feeling healthy, I have an easier time of doing everything else.
There are also some every day things I’ll continue doing: reading, time with friends and my better half, and maintaining my house as best I can. I also need to give myself time to just stare at the TV sometimes, because that’s about all my brain can handle.
Which means other things are going to have be put on a back burner, and this blog is one of them. Even though I enjoy doing it, it takes a bit of time and sometimes I just don’t have the energy. Which means it all piles up and then I feel bad about not getting it done. Also, depression gives me a little bit of a creativity block, so writing something interesting or remotely entertaining is a struggle.
I don’t plan on giving it up completely though. There will be books I’ll still want to review, and I’ve promised someone a recap of a fairly scandalous sounding book (but not really a conventional romance). I have one waiting in the wings right now that I’m going to make sure to do a review for. I’ll still be reviewing through NetGalley, but I’ll be carving out time for fun reading too, not just reading to review.
And who knows? At some point, I’ll probably pick back up and start updating regularly. Or I’ll do something wildly different, like publish my own books in serial blog posts for the heck of it. Either way, I won’t disappear completely. I’ll just be lurking in the shadows for awhile.
2 thoughts on “Update: Real Life Stuff & A Break”
I hope you feel better.
Thank you! I’m doing better. Still struggling a bit with getting everything done that I need to get done, but I’m getting there. 🙂