Sleep and the Lack Of

Today I’m suffering from a severe lack of sleep.

I go through bouts of insomnia, but the past few weeks had been okay. I’d gotten into a routine, I was falling asleep early and waking up feeling pretty refreshed. Then boom, last night, I couldn’t go to sleep. I was tired and my eyes were heavy, but once I shut off my book and tried to fall asleep, I couldn’t.

Once I did finally fall asleep, it wasn’t restful, and it was one of those sleeps where you don’t feel like you’re sleeping. You still feel conscious of where you are and what’s going on around you. At some point I did fall into a deeper sleep only to wake up in what felt like a few minutes later to realize I’d somehow turned my alarm off and was going to be late for work if I didn’t light a fire under my butt.

Today has been a weird blur of things. I know myself well enough to know that when I’m like this (because this isn’t the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last), I need to stay far away from detailed tasks where I have the potential of making major mistakes. I’ve been keeping busy with the “fluff” and the tedious tasks that I can just do over and over again and not really have to think about.

When I’m this tired, I also go quickly between slap happy and monster rage.

My current plan is to go home, shower early, and just sort of doze off under my snuggy (yes, I have one; yes, it’s one of my favorite things ever). I want to take in some quality reading and knitting time, but some nights I find it therapeutic to just do nothing but stare at the TV for awhile, and since the most few nights have been dedicated to organizing and cleaning, I feel like I’m entitled for a night off.

I’m a little bit worried, though, that once I’m in relax mode, my brain will kick back into high gear again and I’ll be wide awake. And then what? Warm milk? A boring textbook? Melatonin? No matter, I’m going to stay positive about this. Even if I don’t fall asleep right away, being this tired means a deeper and better sleep when I do finally drift off. Which means that I’ll be better able to finish all my work tomorrow and then some.

It’ll also mean I won’t send crazy butt icons to friends through IM, nor will I lose my mind when buying yarn online. Again.

And while I realize caffeine late in the day isn’t going to help, I feel like this is a good opportunity to buy a Starbucks after work, just to perk me up enough to get home okay.