I love the feeling of optimism I get at the beginning of a new year, the feeling that this is going to be the year I really get it all together. Sadly, that feeling came and went in the first couple days of the new year. Don’t get me wrong, some things are going okay. I’ve made it to the gym several days, I’m not beating myself up for having a lazy weekend, and I don’t have any real angst. However, I am feeling withdrawn and not looking forward to a busy week ahead.
But I’m still optimistic for the new year.
2014 was a good year. It had its low moments, but the new apartment and the new job ended up being awesome changes. I still come home every day and feel good about my living space. As for the job, I’ve only been there a month, but I really like the work and the environment. I’m still getting used to everyone and am trying to get my confidence up, but that part has always taken me a long time. Eventually it’ll happen. Hopefully.
I have some goals for 2015, mostly to stay organized and keep myself level headed. One thing I want to do though is get back on track with my health and activity. I faltered quite a bit towards the end of 2014, and I’m back to having pain and not being able to walk long distances. This is sort of sent me into a mental spiral that goes between the all-or-nothing attitude and a heavy dose of laziness and apathy. It also makes me depressed when I think about something I want to do and realize that once again, I can’t do it. I’ve been back in the gym just to ensure I do some type of movement, so at least I’m on the right track. I was sidetracked today by not feeling well, but tomorrow is another day.
Otherwise, I’m re-evaluating some of my social commitments and am likely to be ending some of them soon, which may or may not anger people. This could also be a side effect of feeling withdrawn, so I’m going to give it until February to make any decisions. I phase like this pretty often, so maybe I just need a brief hiatus to get my mind back in all the games.
As always, I’ll try to keep the blog updated, but we know how that goes, so I’m going to just continue to roll with it and blog when I have something to say. Who knows? 2015 might be the year you can’t get me to shut up.
On that note, hope the new year has started on a high note and continues that way to the end. Happy 2015!